Posts

Showing posts from March, 2020

Growing Pains

I pull my blanket up tight around me as though it will replace the warm arms I wish would hold me. In my warm cocoon of comfort, another wave of loneliness hits me. I want to be taken care of. I want to be loved, but I’m alone. Who would love me? I don’t even know if I love me. Some days I love myself. However, days like today, I feel like love is out of reach, meant only for a fairy tale. Not me. Oh no! Tears are rolling down my cheeks again. I hate it when they do that! I look over to see if my son noticed that I'm crying. He hasn't. He is focusing on his game. That’s good at least. I don’t want him to feel like it’s his job to take care of me. If I were a good mom, I would wipe my tears, get out of bed, and take the tablet away so he would do something worthwhile. But no, I'm not ready for the tantrum that is sure to unfold. We would both be in tears then. What good would that do? I can’t deal with it today. I quit! Rolling over, I put my back to my son, and shut my