Happily Ever After

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess with a big loving family. Even though she had everything she needed she still was not truly happy. The princess grew up feeling alone in a crowd, until one wonderful day, she met a charming Prince. The Prince quickly won the princess over with his smooth words and handsome face. It was not too long until the princess married the prince and they both lived happily ever after… The End

Wait? What? That's the story? Get married, the end? 

Unfortunately, that's how fairy tales often unfold. A girl struggles until a guy comes along, sweeps her off her feet, and then their ‘Happily Ever After’ begins. 

Much like a fairytale, I was taught from a very young age that my purpose in life was to grow up, marry a returned missionary in the temple, have babies, and live happily ever after. 

Well, that is precisely what I did. I followed the system that I had been taught my entire life. I grew up, had some troubles, fought a few villains, lost friends, and then a handsome man showed up to rescue me. 

I was naive, young, and a hopeless romantic. My new guy knew all the right things to say. He charmed his way into my heart and clouded my brain. 

Not everyone was supportive of my newfound love, but I managed to ignore all the naysayers around me because in every love story there are always forces fighting against love. I was meant to be with my prince. That's how the stories went. No one could stop me from my happy ending. 

I got married to my returned missionary in the temple. I was meant to have eternal happiness. After the wedding, I waited for my ‘Happily Ever After’ to start. Life would be easy now that I had my prince, right?

Regrettably, there was one twist in my story that I did not expect. Shortly after my wedding night, I discovered that my husband was more beast than prince. 

Despite that, I attempted to live my Happily ever after with a smile. I tried to be a good wife and please the beast. I thought that if I could only love him enough, his heart would change. Maybe then he would truly love me. I looked for moments where I thought his love for me was showing through his cold features. Those moments kept me going.

I was then blessed with a miracle. My sweet, perfect baby boy was born. As much as I loved my son, my story became shadowed and dark. Happy moments became scarce as my husband shifted into the villain and my son became my only prince. I finally got up my courage to leave my once charming, now vicious husband.

"Where is my 'Happily Ever After?!!" I screamed at the world. Feeling rejected, hurt, and lonely, I wondered what was wrong with me. I had done everything right. I followed the rules. I did things in order to get my perfect fairytale, yet, here I was, a single mother, on my own. 

And then, the most wonderful thing happened. No, a prince did not come to save me. No, I didn't get swept off my feet. What happened was that I learned to stand and fight my own battles. I learned to believe in my own thoughts. I learned to trust my opinions and knew that they mattered. I grew as a mother and as an individual. I began to write my own story. 

As a strong warrior princess, I fought battles for my little Prince. My family members were a great support, but I used my own legs to stand. I made choices for me and my son based on my own beliefs, not to appease other opinions. Only then was I ready to meet my true love. 

My true love didn't swoop in and save me. He saw my struggles and cheered me on. As we grew closer, he embraced me and gave me balance. He began to fill the holes in parenting that I couldn't reach. He followed my lead and let me give balance to his life as well. 

Now we fight side by side, lifting each other up, filling in gaps. We are creating our own personal ‘Happily Ever After’ every day throughout all of our unique challenges. 

My life is far from simple. New trials hide behind each day. But this is my story and I get to decide that I can rescue myself. 

I am enough!

My young princesses, you are enough. More than enough. You do not need a man to come to your rescue. Marriage and babies are not your only purpose in life. You can stand on your own and when the time comes for you to fall in love, use your strength that you have already built to create your own happy story. 

Through my experience, I have learned that ‘Happily Ever After’ is nothing more than fleeting moments of joy that should be held tight in your hearts. Those moments could be as small as laughing at a silly joke your kid made even if the punchline didn't land. Or it could be swinging at a playground with your adult husband even though your butt doesn't quite fit in the swing. Your happily ever after doesn't even have to involve anyone other than you. It could be getting lost in a really good book or running a marathon. Anything can be a ‘Happily Ever After’ as long as you grab onto the moment, hold it in your heart, and don’t let go. 

To me, my ‘Happily Ever After’ comes every morning as I wake up in my husband's arms. It comes when I am tucking my son in at night and he wraps his little fingers in my hair. I even felt a ‘Happily Ever After’ while having a meltdown with my son. Crying with him bonded us and the moment became beautiful. 

Princesses, your ‘Happily Ever After’ will come but it's something you need to look for. It's not as simple as finding the right guy. You need to find perfect moments, hang onto them, and then use them to fight your battles as they come. You are beautiful, you are powerful, and you are enough.

The End